The First Question

Play "I Eat Dinner"
by Rufus Wainwright with Dido

I went out to celebrate a friend's dinner this evening at the boite Jean Claude.

Being the new person in a large group of old friends, and being in a restaurant where the noise overwhelmed all else, I found myself answering the same question many times.

This, of course, is natural. Happens all the time when you're in a group setting. Normally, the question most frequently asked is "What do you do?" It's innocuous and a good entry into discussion.

Being socially patient and occasionally mischievous, I sometimes give different answers. But after hearing an interview about American identity and how it's so closely tied to our work many years ago, I've been trying to figure out a better (or at least less common) first question in a social setting. (All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.)

Unfortunately, "how do you know the host" isn't a fail safe, and will only get you so far, so I'd love to hear your favorite first question in a social setting.

This evening's group was entirely different. The most popular first question was "Where is your husband?"

When I answered, the look of pity in each questioner's eyes made me furrow my brow. After all, I'm somebody on my own.